First off, please be advised that this edition of Grant Me This has been officially designated a "Major Column." The final decision to render it so, like all the preliminary adjudications, came down to a number of key and complex determinants, which can be summarily described thusly: "Cuz I said so."
I took my lead from some of golf's governing bodies, who at various points through the years have stamped such labels on this tournament or that with the same meticulous consideration Harry and Lloyd used to keep track of how much money they'd borrowed out of Mary's briefcase. Tours are standing outside the Hotel Danbury in their ski goggles and furry boots gratuitously papering a parade of tournament directors with "Major" status, "There you go. There you go. There you go."
I'm not sure which is Dumb and which is Dumber: that a tour would suddenly prop up a particular tournament as a major championship or that they'd expect us as golf fans to treat those events with any semblance of gravitas. Just since the turn of the century, both the Champions and LPGA Tours have attempted to turn tournaments -- the Senior British Open presented by Aberdeen Asset Management and the Ricoh Women's British Open -- into majors, simply by issuing a press release to that effect. It's worked in name only.
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