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Tinman · 07-01-2007, 08:06 PM

I picked up a small pamphlet today at my local club house... The title on the front cover says "A Guide To Playing Man-Up Golf... How to Avoid Laying Up, Lagging Putts and Generally Punking Out"...
Maybe you all have these at your club house also... But if not, I found the first couple of pages pretty humorous...
So, I thought Id share a few with you...

How To Tell If Youre A Wuss Golfer:

1. You go "around" rather than "over", "under" or "through."

2. Your dramatic waggle takes longer than it does for your mother-in-law to leave your house at the holidays.

3. Youve never pulled the "untie-the-bag-on-the-golf-cart" trick on a buddy.

4. Youve received more compliments for your well-coordinated outfit than earned honors on the tee.

5. You blame your ugly shot on the weather or your equipment or your childhood- just about anything other than the wuss golfer in the mirror.

6. You wear a fendora, straw hat, or sombrero or any hat that isnt of the standard "baseball" variety.

7. Youre often asked, "Does your husband play too?"

8. You rely on a book-on-tape, hypnotist, motivational speaker or "guru" to get you "in the right frame of mind."

9. Youve spent more than one nanosecond debating what to wear before you play.

10. The mere sight of a water hazard nearly causes you to soil your leopard-print panties.

11. Youve never used your driver to tag the range picker when its within 30 yards.

12. You frequently don short that are at or above mid thigh.

13. You average at least two drives per round that come up short of the ladies tee box.

14. When asked what you shot on the hole, your reply always begins with, "Um... I dont know, just gimme a..."

15. Any of your clubs are covered with a cute, fluffy animal.

16. You just wasted 10 minutes reading this.

Golf is a fun, often times humorous sport... I play to have fun, cause winning is rarely in the picture...

thanks for taking the time to look...

cbwheeler · 07-01-2007, 10:16 PM

Promotion for the new Top Flite D2 balls. Please don't take that pamphlet to heart, lol.

**DennisM** · 07-02-2007, 09:40 AM

I plead guilty to #15. I have a Garfield head cover for a driver since one of my spare drivers didn't come with a cover and none of my others fits it.

When I selected it, I chose Garfield partly because I like the cartoon, but mostly to remind me that while I might have once been as strong as Tiger, I certainly am not anymore! There must be a dozen copy cat people at the clubs near me who have Tiger head covers. Mine is kind of a "stick it in your face" thing because I know I can outdrive them all...

300Yards · 07-02-2007, 02:57 PM

I'm guilty to number 3..I've never done that, and don't really wish to. Cause you know what they'll do.. they'll untie my bag, and all my clubs will get screwed up.. not worth it, IMO.

bjterry62 · 07-02-2007, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 300Yards

I'm guilty to number 3..I've never done that, and don't really wish to. Cause you know what they'll do.. they'll untie my bag, and all my clubs will get screwed up.. not worth it, IMO.

That would be the closest I've ever come to killing someone, and I've been pretty close. I go ballistic when this is done to any of my playing partners.

BT

fender1993 · 07-04-2007, 01:17 PM

hahah i fell for it

300Yards · 07-05-2007, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bjterry62

That would be the closest I've ever come to killing someone, and I've been pretty close. I go ballistic when this is done to any of my playing partners.

BT

Luckily, it's a non issue with my group. I would definently be pissed if somene did that to me, but I doubt if they'd get a way with it. I check the straps after every hole, because those thngs do tend to like to work their way loose. So, I check them often anyway. On certain courses, I will bring a bungie cord or two, to secure the bags with, cause I know their straps suck.