I like the Lady golfers both pro and local so this is only for humor
Ancient Rules of Golf!
1. You must Tee your Ball within a Club's length of the Hole.
( I would make a hole in one everytime)
(Or are you supposed to tee up on the green one club from the hole?)
2. Your Tee must be upon the Ground.
(Where do you get those floating tees anyway)
3. You are not to change the Ball which you Strike off the Tee.
(It’s not a baby with dirty diapers)
4. You are not to remove Stones, Bones or any Break Club, for the sake of playing your Ball, Except upon the fair Green and that only / within a Club's length of your Ball.
(Who wants to remove a bone in the first place? Maybe that’s the origin of the LPGA?)
(Playing in the garden of eden) 5. If your Ball comes among watter, or any wattery filth, you are at liberty to take out your Ball & bringing it behind the hazard and Teeing it, you may play it with any Club and allow your Adversary a Stroke for so getting out your Ball.
6. If your Balls be found any where touching one another, You are to lift the first Ball, till you play the last.
7. At Holling, you are to play your Ball honestly for the Hole, and not to play upon your Adversary's Ball, not lying in your way to the Hole.
8. If you should lose your Ball, by it's being taken up, or any other way, you are to go back to the Spot, where you struck last, & drop another Ball, And allow your adversary a Stroke for the misfortune.
9. No man at Holling his Ball, is to be allowed, to mark his way to the Hole with his Club, or anything else.
10. If a Ball be stopp'd by any Person, Horse, Dog or anything else, (those pesky pigs) The Ball so stop'd must be play'd where it lyes.
( a horse on the course)
(The good ole days)
11. If you draw your Club in Order to Strike, & proceed so far in the Stroke as to be e Accounted a Stroke.
12. He whose Ball lyes farthest from the Hole is obliged to play first.
(Spelled lies wrong)
13. Neither Trench, Ditch or ****, made for the preservation of the Links, nor the Scholar's Holes, or the Soldier's Lines, Shall be accounted a Hazard; But the Ball is to be taken out teed /and play'd with any Iron Club.
(Only smart people can play scholars holes)